Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Going with the Flow

It's hard sometimes to not feel lost when you aren't too sure of things, but I think equally it is important to remember that sometimes not knowing what you are doing is part of the fun. At the moment, I have been feeling a bit anxious because I don't really have a plan. I'm usually so organised, and know exactly what I'm doing and when. I only know this up until the 9th July which is a bit freaky for me. Dan is constantly trying to persuade me to stop worrying, and just go with the flow, so that is exactly what I am trying to do.

It doesn't matter that I don't have a job yet for next year.

I have only been applying for jobs that really stand out for me. Although I could have applied for a lot more, until I am really in need of a job (come september), I'm going to be quite specific. As I'm not too sure what I want to do for the longer future, I'm attempting to narrow my options down now, so I don't get stuck doing something I'm not very good at, or don't enjoy. That would be the worst. Not only for me, but for the people employing me too! They deserve someone who enjoys the work, and will be motivated to give it 100%.

There is plenty of time for me to travel.

Ah, travel. One of the things I am guaranteed to think about at least once daily, and to try and book at least three times per month. I am always calling Dan up with a "really good deal" to so and so, but realistically, there isn't the time or money for me to be doing this at the moment. There is so much I want to see out there, so I am a bit anxious that I won't get the time to do all that if I have a proper job, and I am always saving for a house, or a car or the next thing needed in our lives. I'd love nothing more than to jump on a plane now and go exploring. BUT, I have to go with the flow. I have to train myself to think that actually, saving for a bit longer, will make that experience that bit better, because who wants to explore with a budget of £100. Not me.

Make the most of what you've got.

Not everything you have to do has to cost money. This is something I do struggle to go with the flow with. I'd love to go shopping, to the cinema, or do touristy things around Canterbury, or Cambridge. Yet again, money has put a little restricter on that for me. Why should I spend money I don't have, when there is so much left to explore that does not cost me anything. I should be satisfied that I can head to a field with a book, and sit in the sunshine reading on a blanket, or I could go and explore in the woods local to my house.

If there is a will, there is a way.

Just because I cannot imagine doing everything I want to do in the next five years let's say, doesn't meant that these things will never happen. I truly believe that if there is a will, there is a way; if you want something badly enough, you will do whatever it takes to get it - even if that does mean waiting longer than you had initially planned to wait. Maybe I do want to go and live in America for a year or two, but at the moment, saving enough to buy a house is more important. I don't want to be living with my parents until I am 30 (as much as I love you mum and dad, I don't think that would be healthy for either of us!) so exploring America will have to wait.

Don't stop dreaming.

So maybe sometimes it is important for me to live in the moment and go with the flow, perhaps like now when I am feeling anxious because I know the things I want at the moment will not go to plan. I've read quite a few good blog posts about not having to live in the moment, and couldn't not mention it when I am talking about going with the flow. I am not the type of person who will go with the flow forever. I have to have plans, for me having a dream of seeing the world, and doing the things I want need to be tied together with plans. Otherwise, they lose their meaning for me. Part of my personality is wanting to constantly organise every fine detail of my life, so I have to do this so that even when I am going with the flow, my dreams are still living on, they are just planned for another time.

What do you do when you have the urge to organise every last detail?

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